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Transavia 123: Rotterdam tower, Transavia 123, goeiemorgen. ("good morning" in Dutch) Rotterdam tower: Transavia 123, expect indefinite delay due to heavy traffic. Transavia 123: Cancel goeiemorgen.
A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. "OK Suzy" said the teacher, "please tell the class your...
"So, a blonde fighter pilot was flying in a two ship one day. She was flying her heading just fine, when all of a sudden her wingman called, "We have Migs coming in at 6 o'clock!" She quickly took...
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are...
Problem : "Smoke in cabin." Solution : "Aircrew reminded fleet is no-smoking these days." Problem : "Bad smell in cockpit (B-747)." Solution : "Advice crew to wash every day."...
10. All the in-flight meals are missing their dessert squares. 9. In between 'May I' and 'have your attention' there's a 45 minute pause.< 8. He's constantly yelling, 'Take that, Red Baron!'...
Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys. I have no interest in flying for the airlines. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons. All that turbulence...
Delta: We're Amtrak with wings. Join our frequent near-miss program. Ask about our out-of-court settlements. Noisy engines? We'll turn 'em off! Complimentary champagne in free-fall....
Fortunate enough to be stationed near family for a time early in my carrer, I lived in a large house with my Mom, Sister and Niece. It worked out well because I was gone quite often TDY and hated...
USAF reactions to this event follow: Air Education and Training Command: The purpose is to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road-crossing should be performed only between...
Working as an air traffic controller for sixteen years, I have had my share of unique situations develop and this is one of my more memorable and fortunately it turned out good. I was working a...
Now this message for America's most famous athletes: Someday you may be invited to fly in the backseat of one of your country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have-John Elway, John...
To LtCol Ventura, Sir, I am DJ Baker and I would appreciate it if you could tell me what it takes to be an F-16 fighter pilot of the USAF. What classes should I take in high school to help the...
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator...
When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army Blackhawk helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign "broomstick one". And they say the Army has no sense of...
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for...
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What...
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center,we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it...
This was a story that my I.P. told me a few years ago about what his friend, who was a private pilot, did when he was in the main ramp after having received taxi and takeoff instructions from the...
The 3 quotes used the most by pilots: 1. Why is it doing that? 2. Where are we? 3. Holy sh*t!