Pranks pulled on newbies in the squadron

Not a practical joke, but a few years ago on a hot day in Tulsa had a crew chief walk to a spot after a launch, seen a gatorade bottle sitting on the toolbox and decided to take a drink even though it was not his. Not only did he take one drink but two then he realized the funny taste. To his dismay and embarrasment it was not gatorade but hydraulic fluid in the bottle that was taken during launch from an overserviced system. Needless to say his new nickname was hydro.

When I worked C-141's we would tell the new guys they needed to safety wire the engines together so we could do an alignment check.

Once we swapped a guys bdu shirt for a maternity shirt, had the same name tape. He put the shirt on at lunch and walked all the way to the chow hall before he realized he was wearing a maternity shirt. The guy is the same one pictured in the balad deployment thread from the Oklahoma Air National Guard.

"gotta go fix the bird bath, jump in back." (of the pickup)
"how about getting me some MEK" hand them a styrophone cup.

we had an over-g at spang and had a newbie go to support and get the g-string to check the alignment of the jet.

at moody we had a kid go to coso and order K9P, coso played along and actually loaded a NSN, they got into a little trouble for that one

We had a new guy who liked to pull a few pranks. He put "fart powder" in a couple guys water in Al-Udeid. So we one time after he did it again, we made up a story that one of the guys got rushed to clinic for extreme stomach pains, internal bleeding and vomiting. So we informed new guy to hurry up and go to clinic, with fart powder, to give to docs and nurses to they can come up with a remedy. Wish I could have been in the clinic when he walked in and told them he had the "fart powder" that made his buddy sick!!

While TDY to Nellis someone told the new LT that one of the planes had a crack in the intake. When the LT removed the intake cover he found himself face to face with the naked backside of a brave crew chief.

I would have loved to see that LTs face. Sounds like the atomic situp that happened while I was at ALS

Kinda OT but I remember junior high shop I'd cut a piece of wood too short shop teacher says "that's okay just go get the board stretcher". I'd never heard of that but thought "well he knows more than me". He let me hunt around for fifteen or twenty minutes. Bastard

When I was at LUKE we would make the newbies go out every friday night and do the AIRSPEED INDICATOR CHECK. They had to go out and blow into every pitot tube while someone in on it was in the cockpit screaming "BLOW HARDER"

Not a newb thing. Actually happened to me and my buddy while we were both SRAs. It was at Nellis at the revies and we were waiting for our planes to come back. One of my buddies was talking with his b man and left his head set on his toolbox. I told my b man that I was going to grease it hitler style. I go over there, grease it up, and go back to my box. His plane comes in first then my plane comes in. He looks over at me and I laugh and point and even do the hail salute. Our planes shut down and we say peace to our pilots and I walk over to him laughing about his new mustache then he asks me why did I grease myself? I grab a mirror and see my own hitlerstache. Turns out while I was greasing my buddy's headset my b man greased mine.

Knew a Captain that sent one of the new SF kids down to the medical clinic for 32 feet of Fallopian Tube.

Then there was the SF guy in the patrol car that swore up and down he saw a clown riding a unicycle at 3 am...

Light Alls. The old ones were really big and you could get inside it and fire it up. A warm spot to hang out.

George AFB CA-1979. A newbie (no not me) was to be taught on how to work the Light All. The Air Force is very high tech he was told and that these were "voice controlled". The trainer in a loud voice says, "Light All on!" Lo and behold it starts without being touched. The newbie stares in wonderment. "Light All off!" and it shuts down. After having the newbie practice a couple times everyone walks away with a chuckle.

But wait! That's not the end of the story. At the end of the shift the new expediter (they had overlapping shifts) asked newbie if he knew how to work the Light Alls. Sure, no problem. So newbie is tasked to go turn them on.

The expediter follows up because none of the Light Alls seem to be on. He finds newbie standing in front of a Light All screaming,

"LIGHT ALL ON GOD DAMMIT!!!"

The Academy cadets came to Hahn for their Summer Tour. We were doing the Local Exercise thing and one of them came out to my shelter to see how things happen. During a lull I fielded questions.

"How heavy is that door? Ten tons a piece.
"How hard is it to open them? Really hard, see for yourself.
"How do you open them on a scramble?

I saw my shot and I took it...

"Well, for this exercise we open them manually. If it was Real World, we'd use the explosive bolts on the hinges."

A couple of sorties later a pilot told me to stop talking to the Cadets because he went back to ops and all he could talk about were the "Explosive Bolts".

Another good one was to send a hospital request to the squadron for one of the newbies to go for his distemper vaccination

Had a new kid that was Sooooo proud of his Red Rope from Tech school that I had to "finish" his last comment about it.
Changing an argon bottle on an AIM-9 at Luke, BIG temp changes there bewteen flight and grounds temps and if you time it right you can actually make the bottle "squeal" when taking it out. I felt it getting close to the end of the threads and it just started to hiss a bit, I stepped back and aksed him to find the emergency steps for a leaking bottle, and as he was frantiaclly flipping through the checklist, I turned the bottle little bit more and the squeal started. I took a step back and yelled "Oh, S**T, It's gonna blow!" and I barely got the statement out of my mouth and he was "A$$holes & elbows back to the ECP.
Rather long story, but that kid was never the same after that!

I like to have the newbs call in to moc for jacking clearance...