Military Aviation Humor

The greatest lies in aviation

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  • Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
  • I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
  • I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
  • All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
  • I only need glasses for reading.
  • I broke out right at minimums.
  • The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
  • Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.
  • If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
  • I'm 22, got 6,000 hours, a four year degree and 3,000 hours in an F-16.
  • We shipped the part yesterday.
  • I'd love to have a woman WSO.
  • All you have to do is follow the book.
  • This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
  • We in the military aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
  • Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2,000 hours in that aircraft.
  • I have 5,000 hours total time, 3,200 are actual instrument.
  • No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.
  • Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?
  • Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
  • We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.
  • It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?
  • I thought YOU took care of that.
  • I've got the field in sight.
  • Of course I know where we are.
  • I'm SURE the gear was down.
  • Of COURSE the navigation unit is working.

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