Callsign "Doofus"

Most carrier aircrew carry “Piddle Packs” - a heavy-duty long ziplock bag with a sponge or powder at the bottom. Our flight suits zip down from the top or up from the bottom, so we can get to our naughty bits in flight (without unstrapping from the ejection seat), and relieve ourselves in the bag. The liquid hits the powder, it forms a gel, and after the flight (at least in the S-3 Viking) the NFO will leave his piddle pack in the pilot’s nav bag on his way out of the jet, with much cursing to follow. One day this S-3 Viking pilot lands after a routine flight at sea in the middle of a deployment. As he gets out, everyone is really excited to see him. The flight deck chief gives him a high-five and slap on the arm. The plane captain shakes his hand vigorously as he welcomes him back aboard. The pilot starts making his way across the flight deck, baffled at the warm reception. He’s seen all these folks every day for months, and just saw them a couple hours before. Now random strangers are waving and shaking his hand - yellow shirts from the Deck Department, purple-shirt fuel dudes, and even a couple of Hornet pilots snap him a quick salute as they pass by. He heads below deck shaking his head, where the hearty greetings continue. Finally, he arrives in the cramped space of the PR shop, where he starts taking off layers of flight gear - helmet, survival vest, parachute harness, and . . . uh oh . . . It appears he had used the piddle pack in flight, got distracted by something, and forgot to . . . how shall I say this . . . “Raise his landing gear”. His junk had been hanging out in the wind for all to see, from the time he left the jet to now. His call sign became DOOFUS, which stands for “D!ck Out On Flightdeck, Unusually Small”.