Forum: Air Force Life

John Madden

See now the goal of the chicken is crossing the road unharmed, now if he gets hit he doesn't accomplish his goal which is to cross the road unharmed cause he got hit which is the opposite of not getting hit, but if he gets to the other side of the road unharmed then he accomplishes his goal of not getting hit. Now the best way to do this is you put the chicken in the slot position and you wanna show a run offense from the I, but then give a little juke move and have him run a corner route thereby suppressing the enemy defense and successfully penetrating the zone coverage with minimal damage to the chicken which will result in the accomplishment of his mission which is to cross the road unharmed.

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Screw the Chickens, send pigeons across the road, fly around for hours on end looking for stuff to $hit on, find nothing, cross back over the road drawing attention (enemy fire) to the friendly chickens crossing the road, and accomplish nothing more than emptying thier gas tanks a few times and fill a piss bag.

President Bush

MMMMMMM...................i love chicken!

UCAV: Chicken remotely operates “Un-chickened Crossing Assessment Vehicle” which performs actual road crossing. Chicken still gets ”road crossing pay” and makes required gates.

Drill Weekend Pay: Chicken crosses the road twice and gets paid for four road crossings.

Cobra Maneuver: Chicken crossing the road comes to near complete stop in mid-road and becomes road-kill.

SOF: Chicken cancels all morning road crossings due to dense fog.

E-model: Chicken crosses the road armed with a gun.

newer E-model: Previously single-seat chicken crosses the road with a WSO chicken.

Stealth: Chicken wearing NVG's was not observed crossing the road at night.

USAFA cheating scandal: Cadet chicken does not cross the road but claims that she did.

Don't ask, don't tell: Some difficulty determining whether a chicken or a rooster is crossing the road.

IA: Chicken wears body armor instead of a flight suit.

Happy Hour: Retired chickens play bingo.

regards, OL

(Female fighter pilots: "eat mor chikin")

ORI Inspector Chicken
Chicken failed at its assigned task. While the task was performed correctly with the end result of the evaluated chicken on the other side of the road. The chicken did not wear a reflective belt during the task: resulting in an UnSatisfactory final rating.

SecDef Chicken
I have relieved the Chief of Staff of the Chickens because the Chicken force accidentally let a chicken cross the road carrying radiated eggs and was working on advanced and expensive programs that have no bearing on current task of just walking across the road. The Chicken force in general has concentrated to much on flying across the road undetected and other programs to counter enemy capabilities not expected for another 10 years.

Rooster Pilot Chicken
Numerous Roosters are very disappointed in their prospects for crossing the road. Numerous studies and recent road crossing experience have shown that hens and alarm clocks perform the rooster functions just as well and are much less expensive.

outlaw162

Laughed so hard I looked around the office to see if anyone heard.

Stealth Chickens are always Black.

The E-Model Chicken crosses with another Chicken on it's back.

Chicken AFCOS mandates that we can no longer used the term UCAV. Now redesignated NPCAV.

NPCAV: Non-Poultry Combat Aerial Vehicle.

Salute!

I couldn't resist:

Gums sends...

Notable Chicken quotes:

Stadium flyby lead chicken: “Two, what time have you got?”

Aggie football fan chicken: “Wow, they were supersonic.”

Hard working loadmaster chicken: “Maybe they’d let us wear the morale patch on the inside of our flight suit.”

Left winged (handed) chicken: “I constantly find myself in an inadvertent right turn.”

Stadium anthem singer chicken: “I couldn’t even hear myself sing.”

F-16 chicken converting to the F-35: “Explain this exploding canopy & auto ejection thing to me one more time.”

NPCAV chicken: “Let’s plan a go around on this one.”

Air Force One pilot chicken: “Hey Co, can you read French?”

F-22 pilot chicken: "What exactly do you mean by flexibility?"

regards, OL

(tell me when I should stop)

What about the frozen chicken fired from the air cannon the RAF used to test windscreens years ago??? If there was a more famous military chicken that gave it's all, it has to be that one... Smile

You must be referring to "Iceman" chicken.

regards, OL

Las Vegas Chickens:

Red Flag Chicken - On Monday you get a film of lots of different chicken getting hit by cars.

Area 51 Chicken - We can neither confirm nor deny that chicken at this time

Aggressor Chickens - Blue chickens cross the high road, brown chickens cross the low road

I apologize in advance, but I can't control it.

More Chicken Quotes

HOBS capable chicken: “Whoa, I think I just committed suicide.”

Florida Panhandle retiree chicken: “Eh?” “What did you say?” “I can’t hear you.”

Future ACC Commander chicken: “Out of the 187, how many are actually mission ready?”

Movie critic chickens: “Iron Eagle 6, two thumbs up.”

Air Guard Commander chicken: “Our goal is to eventually do less with more.”

Pugachev chicken: “It was a joke. It was a joke.”

Crusty old F-4 pilot chicken: “Sometimes I think my GIB is just dead weight.”

Royal Navy fighter pilot chicken: “We’re very proud of our lads at Topgun.”

Fini flight chicken: “Ha. You’ll never get me on that ladder.”

OL

outlaw162 wrote:

I apologize in advance, but I can't control it.

Air Guard Commander chicken: “Our goal is to eventually do less with more.”

OL

Brilliant. Had to join in.

Air Guard Chicken: "State budget cuts, all chickens will be issued gently used feathers"

Washington: Chicken road crossings will be limited to 183 chickens overall, 60 extra chickens may be permitted, but due to the complex nature of the chicken and the primative road crossing we are turning our focus towards the thousands of turkeys approaching the road.

QA: It doesn’t matter if Chickens have crossed the road for years. Any Chickens that cross the road will do so in accordance with AFI 21-999 USAF ROAD CROSSING PROCEDURES and FWI 11-999 LOCAL ROAD CROSSING PROCEDURES.

Iron Eagle Chicken: the Chicken was somehow unable to cross back to its own side of the road, but its egg made it across and brought the chicken home, despite lacking limbs....

F-35 Chicken: the chicken can now take off and cross the road with mininal running start. and makes a hell of a lot of noise

Forum: Air Force Life

The Chicken is Crossing the Road Again