Forum: General F-16 forum

I haven't had the chance to research all the archives to see if this subject has been brought up already, but I wonder if anyone out there has any particular pilot stories. We don't have to use any names or personal call signs, just a good story. I've got a few...as I said in my first post, I was a crewchief for 18 years and got to know quite a few pilots in my career.

I will tell just one story and then I will check back to see if there is any interest in this thread.

The first squadron party I ever took my wife to where we were drinking with our Ops squadron, I asked her on the way home (she had to drive) what her first impression of fighter pilots was. Her first comment was that they were the "biggest group of egotistical *****" she had ever met. Then she went on to say how sexy their flight suits were. Anyway, I told her that they had to believe that they were the baddest in the sky or they would be a smoking hole. I also told her that they didn't act that way on the flightline.....just when they were around good lookin' women with big tits (like her).

I have the utmost respect for our nations pilots. They do a kick-a$$ job and I admired everyone of them......even the ones that never could bring my jet back Code 1 (and you know who you are if you are reading this).

So, do we have any interest??? Let me know what y'all think.

check six
stik
P.S. I also went out and bought a flight suit.

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Here's my favorite pilot story - OK it's really just a joke but I thought it was a good one. I hope this doesn't offend anyone...

A fighter pilot sat down at the "O" Club bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him and turned to the man in the flight suit and asked, "Are you a real fighter pilot?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life flying jets, deploying overseas, going to fighter and weapons schools, dodging SAMs, jinking through dog fights, wearing big watches, and strapping into F-8's, F-4's, F/A-18s, F-14s and performing Air Combat Maneuvers, shooting down airplanes, bombing the enemy, so, you bet, I'm a fighter pilot and a damn good one."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the pilot and asked, "Are you a real fighter pilot?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

I think I know that jet jockey.........Go Ugly Early

stik

Good one Habu2. And thank you for starting this topic Stik, cute story!

Here's one from the Belgian Air Force. It's one of the practical jokes that one could hear while scanning the frequencies of the tower of Beauvechain AFB in Belgium.

A few years ago, Beauvechain AFB was "inhabited" by two Squadrons, 349Sqn and 350Sqn.

Upon approach, when the tower called to reduce speed to 350 Knots, all 349 pilots consistently refused this order and reduced their speed to 349 Knots, calling "Roger, reducing to 349".

Guest

I was told that an F-4 pilot out of MCAS Beaufort, SC flew under the Savannah, Ga. bridge. The story goes that the RIO was so mad that he threatened to eject if the pilot attempted it again.

The pilot proceeded to do it again... inverted!

Jeff

I have yet another war-story from Belgium. This one is about the rivalry between the Tigers and the Devils, two F-16 squadrons which were at that time based at the 10th Tactical Wing at Kleine Brogel, Belgium.

The Devils, being Squadron # 23, took pride in having "their" runway 23 on Kleine Brogel AFB. This sense of ownership was hence reinforced by painting "Home of the Devils" on the head of this runway. As this was not enough, they planted and cherished five trees on the final. These trees were grouped per 2 and per 3, thus symb olizing the number of their squadron.

One can imagine that the Tigers, being Squadron # 31, and having no runway with their number on did not like this setup and were aggressively looking for some markings of their own. That's probably when one of their pilots spotted the trees and decided that this symbol could be turned into their advantage. So next thing that h appened... they dug up a big saw from the basement of the dispersal and cut a tree out of the group of two, leaving a group of three and one single tree.

Soon enough, the Devils noticed that the tree-sign changed from 23 into 31. It didn't take long to find out who possibly did this "crime" as the actors left their "businesscard" on the spot.

Time for revenge and the Devils decided to target the VIP-car of the Tigers. This car was customized to the traditions of a real Tiger squadron with yellow-black striping and was the pride of the squadron.

The night before a day of air-to-ground target-practicing, the Devils stole the Tiger limo and parked it in the middle of the air-to-ground practicing range, after they conveniently covered it with a tarp.

Next day, the Tigers flew in and strafed their target one by one. No little were they amazed when they found their car back, covered with 20-mm holes all over.

Oh, sweet revenge!!

We had some German pilots at a base I was stationed at here in Texas one time. We had four squadrons of F-4s. After strapping in my pilot in the front and student in the back and stepping back down the ladder the backseater says: "Chief, my G-suit won't test".

And I said ..... are you ready ..... here it comes ..... "Sir, the engine has to be running first".

check six
stik

Everybody, this was sent to me by a fighter pilot that served in Vietnam. I have given him this website and hope that soon he will become a member. Enjoy.
stik

About Fighter Pilots

As an aviator in flight you can do anything you want... As long as it's right...and we'll let you know if its right after you get down.
You can't fly forever without getting killed.
As a fighter pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will:
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight in a fighter.
b. One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is your last flight in a fighter.
Success is being able to walk to your F.E.B.
There are Rules and there are Laws. The rules are made by men who think that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. The Laws (of Physics) were made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes should, suspend the rules but you can never suspend the Laws.
More about Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance. (e.g., If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge).
The fighter pilot is the highest form of life on earth.
The ideal fighter pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.
About check rides:
a. The only real objective of a check ride is to complete it and get the bastard out of your airplane.
b. It has never occurred to any flight examiner that the examinee couldn't care less what the examiner's opinion of his flying ability really is.
The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
The job of the Wing Commander is to worry incessantly that his career
depends solely on the abilities of his aviators to fly their airplanes without mishap and that their only minuscule contribution to the effort is to bet their lives on it.
Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over I know of no such expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
It is absolutely imperative that the fighter pilot be unpredictable. Rebelliousness is very predictable. In the end, conforming almost all the time is the best way to be unpredictable.
He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he
that demands one iota more is a fool.
If you're gonna fly low, do not fly slow!
It is solely the pilot's responsibility to never let any other thing touch his aircraft.
If you can learn how to fly as a Lt. and not forget how to fly by the
time you're a Lt.Col you will have lived a happy life.
About night flying:
a. Remember that the airplane doesn't know that it's dark.
b. On a clear, moonless night, never fly between the tanker's lights.
c. There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.
d. If you're going to night fly, it might as well be in the weather so you can double count your exposure to both hazards.
e. Night formation is really an endless series of near misses in equilibrium with each other.
f. You would have to pay a lot of money at a lot of amusement parks and perhaps add a few drugs, to get the same blend of psychedelic sensations as a single engine, night, weather flight, on the wing.
One of the most important skills that a pilot must develop is the skill
to ignore those things that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's attention.
At the end of the day, the controllers, ops supervisors, maintenance guys, weather guessers, and birds; they're all trying to kill you and your job is to not let them!
The concept of "controlling" airspace with radar is just a form of FAA sarcasm directed at fighter pilots to see if they're gullible enough to swallow it. Or to put it another way, when is the last time the FAA ever
shot anyone down?
Remember that the radio is only an electronic suggestion box for the
pilot. Sometimes the only way to clear up a problem is to turn it off.
It is a tacit, yet profound admission of the preeminence of flying in the hierarchy of the human spirit, that those who seek to control aviators via threats always threaten to take one's wings and not one's life.
Remember when flying low and inverted that the rudder still works the
same old way but hopefully your IP never taught you "pull stick back, plane go up".
Mastering the prohibited maneuvers in the dash-1 is one of the best
forms of aviation life insurance you can get.
A tactic done twice is a procedure. (Refer to unpredictability discussion above)
The aircraft G-limits are only there in case there is another flight by
that particular airplane. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no G-limits.
One of the beautiful things about a single piloted aircraft is the quality of the social experience.
If a mother has the slightest suspicion that her infant might grow up to be a pilot she had better teach him to put things back where he got them.
The ultimate responsibility of the pilot is to fulfill the dreams of the countless millions of earthbound ancestors who could only stare skyward and wish.
Any flight over water in a single engine fighter will absolutely guarantee abnormal engine noises and vibrations.

I have a video clip somewhere of a low level night flight in an F-4, following a road and below treetop level. You heard the usual grunting as they jinx down the road then you see two big trees ahead.

Pilot says "think I can make it?"

GIB says "nope"

Next thing you hear is a whump! then the pilot yanks it into a climb and calling "Mayday Mayday Mayday" over the radio.

I'll bet they took the "nylon elevator" to the ground.

You would think so but I wonder how they got the video back? If I find the video I will post a link.

I have a video in my piles of tapes of a HUD/Gunsight camera footage that shows a forest getting bigger and bigger (I have two copies, one with sound) You can hear the pilot's voice saying 'I'm gonna eject, I'm gonna eject' all the way until individual trees become very clear and the image goes to static. It is clear from the tape that it was recovered from the wreckage, as was the remains of the pilot Sad

Great list by the way, stik, I've never seen that version.

Kevin
The Ejection Site

Quote:

I have a video clip somewhere of a low level night flight in an F-4, following a road and below treetop level. You heard the usual grunting as they jinx down the road then you see two big trees ahead.

Pilot says "think I can make it?"

GIB says "nope"

Next thing you hear is a whump! then the pilot yanks it into a climb and calling "Mayday Mayday Mayday" over the radio.

That was an AH-64 Apache flying and it was a daytime FLIR image.

Quote:

It is clear from the tape that it was recovered from the wreckage, as was the remains of the pilot.

Kevin, I am very familiar with the tape that you are talking about. The acft was <a href="http://www.f-16.net/f-16_serials_airframe-75.html">#78-0075</a> from the 466th FS/419th FW at Hill AFB Ut. The pilots name is Lt Col Frank Bernard and he lived through the ejection to retire many years later. The location of the crash was the range at Cold Lake CFB in Alberta Canada. Cause of the crash was an engine issue stemming from a bad part that was tracked back at least to the engine depot.

I have the same tape as well. Frank was admonished for waiting too long to eject as the crash happened just seconds after he ejected.

Mark

Mark- I am thrilled to hear LT COL Bernard survived. Nobody else has been able to identify that footage for me. He must have ejected within one second of the impact because he was on tape that close to the impact. I had to assume he went in with the bird because there was no indication on the film of the ejection, no sign of the canopy moving, flash of rocket, or sound on the tape. I watched and listened closely several times to be sure.

Kevin
The Ejection Site

Forum: General F-16 forum

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