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Enthusiast Joined: Apr 06, 2006 Posts: 20 Status: Offline

Ok so here is the problem, I am currently at Shaw after spending 3 years in Alaska, I liked Alaska, my wife liked Alaska. Extentions were not being given at the time which is why we are not there anymore. Now heres where things get messy. My wife snapped soon after getting to Shaw, its not the state, its the town, she just doesn't like anything about being here and has even made friends to help ease the pain of being here and keeps telling me she wants to go back to AK. Problem is that we have to be here at least 4 years before we can PCS anywhere else. Ever since we got here she has been put in a Mental Health facility and is now on Anti-depressants which do not seem to help.

I keep updating my dream sheet so I can goto Korea for a follow on to Eielson, but other than than I'm not sure if there is anything I can do, does anyone have any insight on any other route I can take because they seem like they are not interested in someone screaming to goto Korea.

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I sympathize with your problem, but somehow your wife needs to understand that in the military, you have to take the good with the bad, and sometimes there is nothing you can do but suck it up until your next assignment. I really think she is looking at the half-full glass; it could be a lot worse. I have been at Shaw, was stationed there for five years, hated every minute of it. But there are guys you can talk to who love it there!

One thing Sumter does have is a pretty good community college system. You need to take her down there and get her enrolled. You are going to do your time at Shaw, and you are going to deploy, and your wife has to get used to that fact. Anti-depressants will not change it, and wanting to go back to Alaska will not make it happen. If she has nothing to do when you are gone but sit and think about how bad things are, it will get worse.

Take her out to Myrtle Beach. Take her to Charleston. Take her to Columbia to see somebody in concert. I guarantee they don't have things like that in Alaska. She needs to see that there is more to your assignment than Shaw AFB.

I am sorry to have to give you this dose of reality, but I suspect you already knew these things. Another reality is that you may never get back to Alaska, most people get to go there once in their careers. What will she do if you never go back?

I think counseling is a good idea, but anti-depressants don't solve the root problem. She needs to find her own reasons to like Sumter. If she can't cope now, how will she cope when you deploy or if you get the remote that you want (which will not guarantee an assignment to Alaska). If she doesn't want to or can't work in her chosen career, get her to school. Meeting new people with different outlooks will change her life, and it's always good to learn something.

I know that you want to support your wife, and that means a lot of extra attention. I don't know if you spend a lot of time outside of work with your buds, but you need to cut back on that if you are. Spend some time with your wife. Take her to a movie, go somewhere on the weekend, get out of town!

Best Regards,

Update on this?

Salute Blue Fox!

I was a Blue Fox in the 18th FIS in Grand Forks. First squad I served with.

1) You have to make fast friends with some personnel pukes at CBPO.

2) Don't believe anything you have heard about the tour length at Shaw. If MPC wants to move you next week, they can do it. You can tell them you were supposed to stay for four years and they will just laugh.

this is serious - they may have you visit the sand box next week, so ask spouse how she would like that!!!

3) AF Times has a section about job openings, or it used to.

4) You can volunteer for a "remote", like Tin City. Move wife to nice place up there and get home when you can.

5) Get on the 'net and see what the bases up there have for chats and blogs and such.

*****************

Many of us here have some old comrades in the area, and lots are retired now. But you never know who they might know that can do something.

What is your specialty code? You gotta fit the square peg into the square hole most of the time, but not always. Secondary codes might also be a key.

Keep on keeping on, man.

Gums sends

16 "mover" stickers on the movie screen box in 20 years, heh heh.

Theres a ANG KC-135 unit at Eielson and ANG rescue wing at Elmendorf along with the new F-22 reserve squadron... if you want to stay in Alaska.. they maybe slots there..

Enthusiast Joined: Jul 27, 2004 Posts: 89 Status: Offline

Joe Sambor:

You offer really, really good advice. Very caring, but practical.

The problem with things like depressed mood is that it gets really easy to start looking and finding reasons to back up how you feel. In many ways, cognition / assessment can follow an emotional response, not the other way around. Getting someone to see the positive is difficult when their physiological responses are telling them their situation sucks but encouraging them to see and do something different can be helpful.

Mike

I had a similar incident after a PCS to Moody, 14 years ago. There are deeper problems then just not liking Sumter, they need to be addressed. Get in the EFMP if they still have it. What's your job ,how young are you guys, was AK your first assignemnt? PM me I'll tell you my story.

Newbie Joined: Jan 04, 2008 Posts: 16 Status: Offline

Fellow Blue Fox,

These guys have some great advise. I don't know if you have been to Korea yet but the seperation couldn't be good for your wife. And also "Follow Ons" are not etched in stone. So be carefull.

I agree with Joe, make the best of Sumter and hope for a good assignment. And don't forget when you make TSgt you can change airframe.

Enthusiast Joined: Aug 09, 2005 Posts: 76 Status: Offline

Simple and effective solution.... work this via your functional manager.

Of course if you are known as a whiner or crybaby, then forget it.

Enthusiast Joined: Jun 03, 2006 Posts: 49 Status: Offline

As an update to Shortcuts offer, change your dream sheet on vMPF to any small airframe base, anything from working on 16's, 15, 10's, u-2s, all of them. You can move amongst them once your a SrA 5 lvl. I just changed from 16's to Global hawks and I'm only a Staff "7 lvl" (and I didnt even ask for it) But careful about going to Korea, if you wife is on meds they might not send you, even if they do it can and will limit the locations to where you can go based on her condition and if they have the facilities to treat her at the next location. If not your options for bases can drastically drop.

Newbie Joined: Jan 04, 2008 Posts: 16 Status: Offline

This stuff is pretty deep for a bunch mechs. I'm glad to see we're evolving.

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Spouse problem