Forum: General

I don't know where this came from but it is funny as hell. Laughing

STAR WARS ORIGINAL SCRIPT:
Luke: "You fought in the clone wars?"
Ben: "I was once a Jedi Knight the same as your father."
Luke: "My father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a spice
freighter."
Ben: "That's what your Uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's
ideals. He thought he should have stayed home. not gotten involved."
Luke: "I wish I had known him."
Ben: "He was a cunning warrior, and the best star pilot in the galaxy.
And he was a good friend.
I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself.. For over a
thousand years the Jedi Knights protected the galaxy. Before the dark
times. Before the Empire.
Luke: "How did my father die?"
Ben: "A young Jedi Knight named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until
he turned to evil, helped the Emperor hunt down and destroy the Jedi
Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father.
Vader was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force."
Luke: "The Force?"
Ben: "Yes, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field
created by all living things. It surrounds us. Penetrates us. Binds the
galaxy together. Which reminds me. your father wanted you to have this
when you were old enough, but your Uncle wouldn't allow it. He
thought you'd follow Obi-Wan on some idealistic crusade."
Luke: "What is it?"
Ben: "It's a light saber. The weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as random or
clumsy as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age."

And now the interpretation…

Luke: "You were in a Fighter Squadron?"
Ben: "I was once a Fighter Pilot, the same as your father."
Luke: "My father didn't belong to a fighter squadron. He was a tool; a
Quality Officer on Wing Staff."
Ben: "That's what your mother told you. She didn't hold with your
father's ideals. She thought he should stay home. Not drink until four in
the morning and then piss on things."
Luke: "I wish I had known him, when he could drink."
Ben: "He was a cunning partier. And the best crud player in the club.
And he was a good bro. I understand you've become quite a boozehound
yourself. For over five years on Friday nights we got so shifazed we could
hardly function. Before the Dark Times. Before his skirt..."
Luke: "How did my father become a lame a$$?"
Ben: "A young chick, namely your mother, who was pretty cool herself until
she turned to evil, helped other women hunt down and destroy the coolness
in men. She civilized and murdered the bro who was once your father. Your
mother was pissed off by the Dark Side of Beer."
Luke: "Beer?"
Ben: (smiling) "Yes, Beer is what gives a Fighter Pilot his power. It's a
beverage created from hops and barley and sh*t like that. It f**ks us up.
Gives us the Beer Goggles. And lets us yell stuff like "Head? Who said
Head? I'll take some of that." at bars everywhere. Which reminds me.
your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your
mother wouldn't allow it. She thought you'd follow some Fighter Pilot
on a binge drinking crusade."
Luke: "What is it?"
Ben: "It's your father's beer mug. The weapon of a Fighter Pilot. Not as
random or clumsy as a shot glass - an elegant weapon from a less-civilized
age…"

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Heh Heh! Awesome Biggen! You knew an Alkie like me would have to respond, right? Wink

Beers and MiGs were made to be pounded!

It's really funny, Biggen... Very Happy

ROFLMFAO

!!!

My old man says there is a video floating around out there of some fighter jocks who re-did a bunch of the scenes from star wars like this

I'd like to see it.

Razz

OMG!

I LOVE the translation! How true is that? The beer gives you beer gogles...which leads you to the GF who in turn ends up your wife, who in turn refuses to let you party anymore with your "bro's" which basically means she sucks the life out of you (sts), and then you're like VADER...old, bald, not gettin' any action, sitting on the couch knitting a sweater for your fourth kid. UGH.....WTF over? WTF

Hahah love it! love it! Post more of those if you can.
Cheers! Cheers

The trick is to avoid promotion to Captain as long as possible. I dont know if its just me but every fighter jock ive ever met thats been a captain has been married. Im almost sure that there is a coorelation in that somewhere. I think when your a captain and by that time you have your full set of wings and your out of your RTU you trick yourself into thinking you have the best out of life and you forget the objective is to NOT get married. Oh well...

-Aaron

Forum Veteran Joined: Dec 25, 2003 - 10:03 PM Posts: 679

Mmm Beer. Good stuff.

Forum: General

Use the force...