Forum: Air Force Life

One of my friends sent this to me in an email and I thought everyone might enjoy them. Cool

Please let me know what you think and add your own! Very Happy

Subject: Piloting Truisms

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Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ...I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am
at 80,000 Feet and Climbing! (Sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating
location Kadena, Japan).

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.
Crickmore-test pilot)

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

From an old carrier sailor - Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes
in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power
left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh sh*t!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

Progress in airline flying; now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is
prevarication.

I remember when ***** was safe and flying was dangerous.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person
on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on
a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity
as slowly and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill
you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash
as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard
down. (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign over
squadron operations desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good
bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities
in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. (Author
unknown, but someone who's been there)

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules - Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near
the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of
ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to
taxi to the terminal.

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Too funny..... but oh so true. Thanks for posting this Parrothead! Very Happy

Cheers!

Vypergrl, no problem! Glad you enjoyed it! Very Happy

I know who the "unknown author" is on that 4th from the bottom quote. It's the one about the good landing, bowel movement and orgasm. That was William Kershner, the author of many flight training textbooks. He flew Hellcats and Corsairs in the Navy and did night ops off a carrier in the Pacific. The Corsair that sits in the Pensacola museum is one of the ones he flew, and the deck of the carrier that is the floor of the museum is from one of the carriers he operated from.

The weather was crap and we couldn't go fly that day so we were sitting in the office at the airport watching grainy videos of Hellcat and Corsair carrier landings. He was showing me the one where he wrecked and they got it on film. He kept rewinding it and playing it in slow mo. That's when he said that quote and he said if I ever heard it again one day, now I knew who said it and why.

His little 152 aerobat we flew is at the Udvar-Hazy museum at Dulles Airport now. Bill passed away in February. What a guy. I was lucky to fly with a legend, and hear his awesome stories.

There are two useless things in aviation:

The Altitude above you.

The runway behind you.

And the airspeed you had.

parrothead, You've done it again my friend. Thanx brother!!!

No problemo Smile

.

Here's another one for y'all Very Happy

.

Famous last words - "Hey - watch this!"

Quote:

Hey - watch this

Actually it's "Here, hold my beer, HEY ya'll whatch this!"
Living in Georgia has taught me this.

You know how you can tell if what you're about to hear is Laughing

total B.S. ???

If the story starts out with "There I was....."

....shooting my watch." LMAO

Never ask a pilot if they fly fighters. If they do, they'll tell you. If they don't, don't embarrass them.

Quote:

There are two useless things in aviation:

The Altitude above you.

The runway behind you.

Ha, yes!

Gas in the truck does'nt do you much good either!

Forum: Air Force Life

Pilot Truisms