F-16.net

F-16.net Editor Joined: Sep 23, 2003 Posts: 2848

No Napalm or Flamagel or whatever it is called for the F-16. How sad. Very Happy

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I've heard of unconfirmed reports that pilots have taken precautions when a "No. 2" emergency was a distinct possibility in the cockpit. The precautions:

1: Large airtight ziploc baggie, about the size of the pilot's helmet.
2: A still larger airtight ziploc baggie, capable of holding baggie no. 1
3: An ordinary small plastic bag of the type that you get at checkout from many stores. A fairly heavy,
well constructed example is ideal.
4: A serviceable quantity of toilet paper

Nature makes emergency call.

Pilot engages autopilot and engages the ejection seat safety lever.

Pilot removes helmet and disconnects his O2 mask and comm cable from it.

Pilot places ziploc baggie no. 1 in helmet, and then places shopping bag inside
ziploc baggie, being sure to overlap the edges over the helmet edges.

Pilot drops his flight suit with extreme care, so as not to hit any important controls.

Pilot drops shorts and sits on helmet, being careful of orientation.

Pilot drops a stinky.

Pilot cleans as required, removes helmet from seat, and ties shopping baggie closed,
followed by enclosing it withing ziploc baggie no.1. Bag is removed from helmet
and then is encased in baggie no. 2. Package is stowed in a safe, out of the way
place. It is critical that the package is properly disposed of upon landing.

Pilot gets back into his shorts and flight suit, with extreme care.

Pilot makes all necessary safety checks, straps in normally, puts his helmet back on
(which has not acquired any new stains, marks, or smells of this has gone correctly)
and then after a final check, disengages autopilot and continues the flight. With any
luck, his wingman did NOT get any photographs of the proceedings.

CJ

Newbie Joined: Aug 27, 2004 Posts: 2 Status: Offline

Female pilots use the same piddlepack however they have an adapter that is designed for their anatomy and hooks into the Piddlepack.

The device is called a "Lady J". It is esentially a curved cup shaped device.

The catheter is a obscene way of describing the system and is in fact "FALSE". Their is no catheter inserted anywhere..

Don't forget the "Depends."
(for gals)

Cylon

Back many moons ago, we were at Gulfport for 2 week trip and one of our guys neglected to bring a piddle pack. So when he could no longer hold it he grabbed the aircraft forms and filled up the front zip-loc pocket of the forms binder. Only bad part was the he spilled some on himself getting it zipped, oh and the fact that we had to replace the forms coversheet and the binder.

Newbie Joined: May 21, 2008 Posts: 2 Status: Offline

Gahh!

Well...I'm so glad the female pilots are using a funnel instead of the...First method suggested...

I don't know if something escaped my attention, but, considering that many private sailplane pilots and most WWII era fighters came standard with a piss tube, you'd think a modern jet could have one too? I would think that for any plane that could fly longer than 45 minutes at a time you'd consider pilot comfort...

I got to wedge myself into an F-16 cockpit at Wright Patterson...I don't think I would have ROOM to use a 'piddle pack'...My knees tend to block the MFD's...

Okay, so I may be an F-15 guy, but this is still a funny bit about crapping in flight. A long time ago, we had an F-16 guy who was transitioning over to the F-15. Him and some of the other pilots went out the night before to have some fun, as fighter pilots do, and he went a bit overboard. Next day they are doing 2v2 and his stomach gives up. As he pulls into the spot and shuts down, he calls me up. Half way up the ladder an awful smell hits me coming out of the cockpit. Of course he feels terrible, and asks for a plastic bag to put the seat bottom in. His "party" had gone through his flight suit and soaked into the seat pretty good. I'm pretty sure he watched what he did the night before from there on out.
I might have missed a few parts, it's been a few years since I worked fighters, and dumped all my lingo when I started to work on the C-130. Greatest plane ever, that mighty Hercules!

Enthusiast Joined: Apr 20, 2005 Posts: 66

your kidding.. the guy took a involentary dump in the cocpit ?

F-16.net

Forum: F-16 Procedures

While flying the Viper, where do pilots put their stuff?